Calm exterior, powerful internals

What we like:

Wolf in sheep's clothing

luxury interior

driving modes.

What we dislike:

That 2000-heritage

i-Drive media controller.

Uniquely for a "special tune" vehicle, the car is assembled on the BMW production line in Bavaria - with the custom Alpina engine and suspension bolted into the uprated shell. This means the designer and makers of the car do a standard build procedure, but using Alpina's high-performance components. Which in turn means no manufacturers warranty contravention in the pursuit of performance, as with some tuned offerings.

All this fine-tuning and polishing makes the Alpina the fastest 3-Series on the road, coming through the timing check at a whisker over 300kph. One niggle? As always, yes. Hit the throttle at low speeds in the less sporty modes and there is a discernable turbo lag. Not irritating, but noticeable.

If you are looking for excellent performance, an exclusive yet discreet badge, luxury and comfort in a small German saloon then the Alpina is a great choice. But if you simply want to blow away the weeds, the M3 might be more your style - and cheaper too.

But if there is one thing I took away from driving this car, it was its unique ability to both thrill when the pulse was racing, yet waft me to Thailand in luxury if I wanted that instead.

As Terence at local importer Munich Automobiles told us when we returned the car, it is not a car for the boy racer. It's a car for the driver that wants comfort with pace, and isn't too interested in glitz just for its own sake - discreet sophistication rather than highly-advertised raw power.

That's the thinking man's BMW then.

Credits: Story and Photos by Jeremy Torr